


Will it be alright?

by christinafraser



Category: Outlander & Related Fandoms, Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Love, Original Character(s), Second Chances, Slow Burn, Soulmates, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-08-22 15:30:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16600637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christinafraser/pseuds/christinafraser
Summary: When Claire moves to Boston with Frank, Jamie is left behind with a broken heart and decides to go to war.10 years later they meet again. Will they still be the same people they were all these years ago? Or is it too late for a new beginning?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, this is my first Outlander fanfic and I'm beyond excited and nervous to post!  
> I wrote this chapter spontaneously yesterday and as my native language is not English, please bear with possible mistakes :)  
> I'll try to update regularly but will not set myself on a specific date/day in order to avoid stress and disappointment.  
> Please comment and let me know what you think of it!
> 
> Enjoy reading,  
> Christina

_“I look up from the ground to see your sad and teary eyes_

_you look away from me and I see there’s something you’re trying to hide_

_and I reach for your hand but it’s cold you pull away again_

_and I wonder what’s on your mind…”_ _“_

* * *

 

_I’m moving to Boston… with Frank.”_

The words still resonated in his head as he was making his way back to his apartment, stumbling through the streets of London. It had started to rain and he was soaked to the bone, but he didn’t notice and didn’t feel anything at all. She had called him earlier that day and told him that she needed to talk to him. Something in her voice had caught his attention, she had seemed nervous, her voice slightly shaking. He remembered the nervous flicker in her eyes as she told him the news after he arrived an hour later, her hands gripping the kitchen counter, her knuckles white from holding on too tight.

“Oh…”, was all he managed to say in that moment, overwhelmed with what she just told him. Moving. America. Boston. Frank. She was accepted into Harvard. “I’m happy for you” he finally answered after a few seconds. His slight smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. She nodded, disappointment filling up her face.

“I’ll miss you” she mumbled, pulling him into a hug, tears glistening in her eyes. His feelings numb, he somehow managed to wrap his arms around her, pulling her much smaller frame against his large body. _‘Tell her!_ ’ the voice in his head kept shouting. _‘Tell her what you wanted to tell her since the day you met her in the tube one year ago! Tell her what you should have told her two days ago in the bar, drunk and kissing!’_

But he couldn’t. It would change everything and maybe ruin the friendship and the memories they had. He inhaled her perfume for one last time, a smell of vanilla and freshly washed laundry and something particularly her. Then the moment was over, she pulled away and looked up to him, an expectant, hopeful look in her eyes. Her view changed when he moved towards the door, disappointment and hurt again filling up her face. But it was gone a moment later, a perfect mask of blankness covering her beautiful face.

His mouth opened and closed again, trying to find the words to say in this situation. “I wish you all the best” he said, “let me know when you’ve arrived and how things are going... I’ll…. I’ll miss you, too.” She nodded while he reached for the door handle, picking up his army bag with the other hand. “Goodbye, James Fraser.”

“Goodbye, Claire.” And with that he was gone, the door falling shut behind him, his footsteps still resonating in the staircase.

* * *

 

_“And my friend said I know you love her, but it’s over, mate_

_It doesn’t matter put the phone away_

_It’s never easy to walk away, let her go_

_it’ll be alright”_

* * *

 

Six weeks had passed since her move and he was complete wreck. He forced himself to distract himself, he expanded his gym sessions and now went every day instead of five times a week and spent as much time as possible at the army barrack. Rupert and Angus had called him several times asking him to join them at the bar, but he had declined, preventing himself from drinking.

Today however, he had accepted their invitation and joined them at their usual pub. And there he was, sitting at the bar with a glass of whisky in front of him. He paid no attention to Rupert and Angus next to him who were chatting with a group of girls who had arrived a couple of minutes earlier. He ignored the blonde, tall woman that was standing near his seat and tried engaging him in a conversation. She was pretty, that was true, but she was not _her_. He was staring at his phone, sliding through old messages and photos of him…and _her_. She hadn’t called or texted him since that day in her apartment and he was wondering for the thousandth time if he should break the silence or not.

“Still thinking about her, huh?” Jaime looked up startled, realizing that Murtagh had slid onto the bar stool next to him.

“Aye, how could I not?” he replied, looking back onto his phone screen.

“Put the phone away, Jaime” his friend said, reaching over and pushing the lock button on his phone so the screen went dark. “It’s over, mate. She’s gone… I know ye might not think so right now but there will other girls and you’ll be fine again. Give it some time.”

“She was the only one for me” Jaime answered, staring into his glass before taking a big sip.

Murtagh fell silent, his hand reaching out and patting his friend on the shoulder.

“Ye knew we kissed, two days before she left?! I thought she maybe wanted to talk to me about that when she called me, but then she just told me out of the blue that she was moving. I should have told her then, Murtagh. I should have told her about my feelings.”

After a few moments, Jaime broke the silence. “I’ve enrolled for the Special Forces Training today…”

Murtagh looked at him with eyes wide open. “Jaime, ye…”

“I do have to do this, Murtagh” Jaime interrupted him. “I have nothing left holding me back. You know that I planned on doing this already a year ago. But then I met her, and everything changed. And now she’s gone and I’m here and there’s nothing left preventing me from taking that step and going to war.” He looked at his friend, his face slightly reddened and holding on tightly to his glass.

“If I die there at least my life has had a purpose. I could at least fight for my country. This whole situation has been eating me up from the inside for the past few weeks. I want to feel something, even if it’s pain, Murtagh! I think about her day and night, I can’t sleep because it’s her that occupies my thoughts.” He breathed deeply and ran a hand through his reddish locks.

“This is the right choice for me, Murtagh. I’m going to Iraq… and I don’t care if I’m coming back.”

* * *

 

_“And my friend said_

_I know you love her, but it’s over, mate_

_it doesn’t matter put the phone away_

_It’s neve easy to walk away, let her go_

_it’ll be okay_

_It’s gonna hurt for a bit of time_

_so bottoms up, let’s forget tonight_

_you’ll find another and you’ll be just fine let her go_

_It’ll be alright”_

Lyrics by Dean Lewis ‘Be Alright’


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So here's the second chapter with a brief flashback to how Jamie and Claire met each other :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to everyone who left a comment, I'm really glad and happy you like it so far!

_one year earlier._

 

Claire was on her way to work at Mr. Raymond's pharmacy. She was taking the tube at 6:30 like always for the past six months so she would arrive there just in time. This morning however, something was different. She had overslept for the first time in ages and barely managed to find something suitable to wear. Frank had already left for university and apparently, after taking a quick look in the kitchen, had left no coffee for her. Claire rejected the idea to put on make-up and just rushed out the door to catch her train and arrive at work on time. Looking at her watch she started running and hurried down the staircase when she heard the train driving into the station.

She ran along the platform to reach the nearest door of the train, which apparently someone who had seen her running held open for her. Claire jumped into the wagon and the doors closed immediately behind her. Breathless she leaned back against the wall, closed her eyes for a few seconds and tried to catch her breath. After a few moments she looked up again, trying to figure out who her lifesaver was. _And there he was_ , positioned against the separating wall opposite of her. The first thing she noticed was how tall he was. Herself being tall for a woman, men who overtopped her were rare to find. His obviously well-defined body was clad in an army uniform, a gym bag positioned at his feet. He was leaning back casually, his arms were crossed over his chest. His slightly ruffled auburn hair was just a little bit too long, a pair of deep blue eyes sparkling beneath it. The hint of a smirk was tugging at his full lips, and just in that moment Claire realized that it must be caused by her blank stare at him. 

_'Christ, Beauchamp!'_ she internally slapped herself.  _'How old are you!? What a mature behavior for a women in her twenties!'_

She had never seen him before on the train at that time of the day and she was quite familiar with the usual faces. She forced herself to smile at him and finally managed to say something. "Thank you for holding the door open for me. You were my lifesaver, otherwise I would have been late for work."

His smirk turned into a full smile now, revealing a row of perfectly white teeth. "Aye it was a pleasure, always for a bonnie lass like ye."

_'A Scot'_ she thought immediately, recognizing his accent.  _'A charming and attractive Scot. And probably a ladykiller as well. Jackpot.'_ She rolled her eyes internally. 

Taking into account her current outfit and appearance, she wouldn't have considered herself 'bonnie'. She had not had time to brush her in any way wild locks and, taking in the fact that she was not wearing make up at all and had not slept that well, she would have described her appearance as that of an abandoned panda with locks. Nevertheless, the stranger was smiling at her and somehow his piercing gaze made her blush. Claire looked down and fumbled with her coat, embarrassed of herself that someone who she had just met could have such an effect on her. 

"So what put you in such a hurry at such an ungodly hour?" he broke the silence, causing her to look up again. 

"I overslept" she sighed, running a hand through her untamed curls. "I didn't even have time to grab a coffee and I am starving, so missing my train would just have been the icing on the cake". Claire shot him a quick glance and realized he was smirking again. 

"Oh dhia" he chuckled. He squatted down next to his gym bag and began searching for something. Claire watched his actions suspiciously. 

Straightening back up again, he held his large hand out to her. In it were an granola bar and a small apple. For a few seconds, Claire stared at his hand bewilderdly, not knowing what had just happened. He chuckled and took a step forward, reaching for her coat. He let the food slip into her coat pocket and smiled at her, his ocean blue eyes glittering.

"Take it", he said. "I can't let a petite lass like ye starve on the tube before even getting to work".

"Thank you", she finally managed to say, shaking her head slightly to clear her thoughts. "Again."

The train had reached the next station and the tall stranger pushed the button on the door. Before exiting he turned towards her, shooting her a Hollywood smile. "You're welcome, Sassenach."  

 


	3. Chapter 3

_10 years later._

The bright sky Edinburgh offered her this morning seemed strange, as she in her memory she always connected England to grey skies and rain. Claire locked the door of her new apartment behind her and made for her car. She had started to work at the Royal Infirmary a few weeks ago and had liked it from the beginning.

When her old friend Geillis had called her two months ago and told her that a position at the Infirmary soon would be available, Claire did not have to think about it for long. She had known Geillis for twelve years now and stayed in contact with her even after her move to America. Her friend knew about her personal situation, about her divorce from Frank. Frank had decided that seducing young students and bringing them home from university was appropriate. Too bad that one day Claire arrived home early from work. He tried everything to win her back, but it was for nothing. _Too bad you only realize what you had when you’ve lost it._

So when Geillis rang and told her about the position at the hospital in Scotland she was working at, Claire’s decision was already clear from the beginning. Of course, the move was a big step to her, going back home to ‘her’ country after all these years. _Home._ How strange it sounded in her ears. Was it really her home? Did she even have a home? All Claire knew was that she hadn’t felt at home for a very long time, and the prospect of a new start and building a home in the UK was great. Not in London, not where she had left _him,_ where the memories would come back to her at every corner. Edinburgh it was, crisp Scottish air, a beautiful landscape, nice and warm-hearted people.

Today was actually a special day at work, as in the evening a gala dinner was set. The donators and supporters of the Infirmary would be present giving speeches and the achievement and success of the hospital would be celebrated. Claire had chosen a dark-red, long-sleeved dress with lace for this occasion. She did not want to be overdressed but still look appropriate. She had pinned up her hair and put on some make up, something she usually did not do. She and Geillis had planned to meet at the parking lot and there she was, waiting for her friend. Claire spotted her friend parking her car and made her way over to her.

“Hey sweetie!”, Geillis exclaimed. “Sorry for being late but somehow I didn’t find anything to wear.”

“Don’t mind, you look beautiful” Claire said, giving her a hug. And it was true, Geillis looked absolutely stunning in an emerald dress, matching her eyes perfectly and contrasting her long, auburn hair.

“Shall we go? We don’t want to be late for your first company dinner.” Geillis smiled brightly and reached for Claire’s arm.

The room was immense and beautifully decorated. Several large round tables had been prepared for the guests and name cards had been positioned on them. Claire followed Geillis, who seemed to have informed herself about their seating position beforehand. After sitting down, they ordered two glasses of wine and watched the other people arrive. Some of them were colleagues and they exchanged some words, some of them they both had never seen before.

After a while the room darkened a bit and the head of the Infirmary, Dr. Abernathy, entered the small stage that had been put up.

“Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Thank you all for being present tonight and taking part in our celebration”. He looked around the room, smiling. “This is a very special evening, as it is completely dedicated to our hospital, our achievements and our supporters. This leads me to the first point on my agenda. As always, we begin this special occasion with the awarding of our honorary sponsorships. This year, one of them was awarded to a very special man, who is also present today. As the manager of Lallybroch Whisky Distillery, he decided to support our hospital with a total amount of £100,000 pounds.”

A whisper went around the room and people started to applaud. Claire and Geillis exchanged a look and applauded, as well. ‘What a generous donation’, Claire thought.

“Ladies and gentlemen”, Abernathy continued, “please welcome Mr. James Alexander Fraser!”

Claire froze in the middle of clapping. ‘No’, she thought. No this couldn’t be. Not here. Not _him_.

Two tables in front of theirs, a man rose. He had his back turned towards her, but she swallowed hard as he made his way towards the stage. On his way, he shook hands with several people, receiving congratulations and exchanging pleasantries. She made out his profile.   _A Hollywood smile._ He was tall, broad-shouldered, wearing a black, fitted suit with a grey, patterned bow tie. _No. This couldn’t be true._ _The name must be a coincidence._

Claire closed her eyes and breathed deeply. When she opened them again, he was standing on the podium, shaking hands with Mr. Abernathy and reaching for the microphone offered to him. His hair was shorter and darker than ten years ago, cut short near his ears and longer on the top of his head. A trimmed three-day beard covered his cheeks, making him look different, older, more adult. He had gotten older, but he didn’t look old, the boyish charm and spark still present. There was no doubt, it was _him_. And as Claire took in his presence on the stage she couldn’t ignore the butterflies in her stomach starting to flutter again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your feedback and likes on this story - I'm really happy that you like it so far!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm overwhelmed with the love I'm receiving for this story, I didn't expect to get such a positive response!  
> THANK YOU all so much <3

“You knew about it, didn’t you?” Claire said to Geillis, as they were leaning against her car.

Claire had spent the rest of the evening like in trance, taking in everything like looking though a veil. Jamie had held his speech up on stage, charming as ever, congratulating and thanking the hospital for their achievements and actions. He had mentioned that he himself had been a patient there for quite some time and had received the best treatment he could have imagined, which was the reason he decided to donate a generous amount of money. It had hurt her to hear that he had been in hospital, that she had known nothing about it and she hadn’t been there to help him. She wondered what the reason for his hospitalization had been.

Jamie hadn’t spotted her, and she had to admit that she was glad about it. The last thing she would have needed was him on the stage, seeing her in the crowd, losing his speech and eventually making his way through the crowd towards her after he finished talking. Even though the vision of him had re-evoked some long-forgotten feelings, she didn’t want to go through this again. _They were better off this way._ They needn’t restart something which would eventually end in pain again. She did not want to hurt him again and did not want to experience the pain herself once more. She had been through it once, after her move and her decision to keep quiet when she should have told him how she truly felt, that day when they parted in her old apartment.

So many things had happened since then. Her marriage. Her medical studies. A miscarriage. The divorce. She wasn’t dumb, she knew that life had happened to him, as well. She didn’t know what he’d been through but, as she saw him up there, he looked healthy, handsome as always…. and happy. She didn’t want to destroy this happiness, by the way – a man like him was married to someone, for sure. He’d always been a magnet for women, herself included. What did she expect? That he would wait a decade for her to return, knowing that she moved to another continent with a man?

She shook her head. Lost in thought, she noticed the applause getting louder. He left the stage, smiling broadly. He made his way back to the table, price in hand. A small, dark-haired woman in a dark-blue dress got up from her seat and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss against her hair. A knot formed inside Claire’s stomach. _She had known it._ ‘What did you expect, Beauchamp?’ her inner voice said. ‘You were the one who left.’

Throughout the dinner, Claire managed to keep the conversation with Geillis and the other people sitting on their table, however her eyes eventually flickered towards him. By the time the dessert was finished, it had gotten late. Geillis and her both had an early shift tomorrow, so they decided to leave around midnight. Somehow, the air between the two women had become thick. They grabbed their coats and made their way outside, towards the parking lot.

“You knew about it, didn’t you?” Claire eventually said to Geillis, as they were leaning against her car.

She didn’t look at her friend, but she could hear her taking a deep breath. “Yes, I did” Geillis sighed.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Claire turned towards her. “Why didn’t you tell me that he would be here?! Christ, you could at least have prepared me for this situation, Geillis!”

“I didn’t know he would be here!” Geillis shouted, facing her friend. “I knew he was nominated for the sponsorship, but I didn’t know that he would be here, personally. He has donated money before, but it was never him who spoke at the dinners, it was either his sister or his co-owner!”

Claire looked at her, anger flickering in her eyes. “Oh great, nice to know that he’s been supporting this place for quite some time now! When were you planning to tell me about it? As you have been keeping up with him and his life, why didn’t you find it necessary to tell me that Jamie was in Scotland and supporting my new workplace? I would have never accepted the job!”. Claire fumed.

“That’s exactly the reason why!” Geillis eyes were filled with anger now, as well. “Because I know that if I had told you, you would have never come back! I know that you were unhappy in Boston, Claire.” Geillis breathed deeply, calming down a bit. “Yes, I knew about his involvement with the hospital and I met him there two or three times. We exchanged some casualties, and once had a coffee in the cafeteria, but I haven’t been keeping up with his life.”

She looked at Claire intensely. “I didn’t call you about this job because he was here. I know I should have told you, but it’s too late now. I’m sorry. I knew you were unhappy, and I wanted to see you smile again and help you with a new beginning. Scotland seemed like the perfect place for you, Claire. Even his connection to the hospital exists, the chances of meeting him were quite low as the office of his company is near Broch Murda. He rarely shows up here himself and has never been here for a gala dinner, so I didn’t think about it twice.” She breathed deeply and reached out for her hand. “I’m sorry Claire.”

Claire sighed and lightly squeezed her friend’s hand. “It’s okay, Geillis.” She smiled slightly. “I mean, I could have run into him by accident anywhere, couldn’t I? I can live with it, it’s been ten years.”

The two women hugged. “So, you’re not angry anymore?” Geillis asked.

“No, I’m not.” Claire responded, causing Geillis to wipe her forehead and sigh. “See you tomorrow morning” she laughed, turning her back to her friend and walking towards her own car two rows ahead.

She searched for her keys in her purse when she heard footsteps behind her. She startled, letting the key fall to the floor. Claire bent down to pick it up and, just as she turned got back up, she spotted a pair of feet clad in polished black shoes standing nearby.

She straightened back up and shifted her gaze, trying to make out who the stranger was.

A lump formed in her throat. _Jamie._ There he stood, a look of confusion and shock plastered on his face. “Claire?” he eventually managed to say, shaking his head slightly and briefly closing his eyes, as if he had just seen a ghost.

She swallowed, breathing deeply. “Hello, Jamie.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, 
> 
> I am terribly sorry for not updating any earlier. I was sick for two weeks, had to present my Bachelor thesis and then my laptop with three finished chapters for this story broke. But that's life and now I'm back!   
> xx Christina

She swallowed, breathing deeply. "Hello, Jamie."

 

“What…. What are you doing here?” He asked, shaking his head in disbelief and looking at her with wide, ocean blue eyes.

“I was at the party, just like you” Claire answered.

Jamie took a step forward, shaking his head slightly. “Then why didn’t you approach me? You must have seen me on the stage I guess..?! You must have known that I would have loved to talk to you.” A shy smile tugged at his lips as he gazed at her. Claire couldn’t help but smile slightly herself.

“I don’t know.. it just… I…. I just didn’t expect to see and meet you here”, she managed to get out, keeping her eyes on the ground. “Approaching you after your speech… I just didn’t think it was appropriate after... after not seeing you for ten years.” _After what we have been through. After how we departed all these years ago._

She looked up to find him looking at her, his gaze unreadable. Just like she remembered he managed to keep on a perfect mask on his face covering his feelings. Her own face on the other hand was an open book. He himself had told her that it was a glass face, every emotion and thought readable to anyone.

Finally, he nodded slightly. “Aye, I see.” He fell silent for a moment. Burying his hands in the pockets of his suit pants, he turned a little and gestured with his head towards the hospital. “So what were you doing here? Are you a visiting doctor or…”

“No, I work here” Claire interrupted him. She noticed a glimpse of surprise cross his face for a moment. “Geillis told me about the job some time ago. I needed a change and so I accepted. I’m now a surgeon at the cardiology unit here”. Looking at him she tightly wrapped her arms around herself. It was late the and the light breeze made her shiver a little in her evening dress. She noticed his smile and couldn’t help but become aware of how beautifully made his face was.

“That’s amazing” he replied, and she could sense the sincerity in his words. “I always knew that you were born for this job… healing”. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips, however a moment he frowned and furrowed his brow. “…but what about Frank? Isn’t he… is he with you? I guess he must have taken a job here as well, hasn’t he?” Jamie looked at her expectantly.

Claire sighed. She was not ready for this, not now and not any other time. She hadn’t planned on telling him about this, ever. And yet here she was, in a parking lot in front of her new workplace, with him. “He’s not here.” She found his gaze and nearly drowned in his eyes. “We are divorced. It… it just didn’t work out.” _What a nice way to put it, Beauchamp. A really great method to explain how he betrayed you with one of his students. In his office. On your wedding day._

Jamie’s face changed, his feelings still unreadable to her. “I’m sorry. Truly.” He took another step towards her, the distance between them getting closer. He reached out his hand and gently laid his hand on her shoulder. Claire closed her eyes, trying to ignore the weight and feeling of his familiar hand on her skin.

“It’s fine” she said, looking at him and increasingly becoming aware of how little space there was between them. “I’m fine, you can sleep soundly, James Fraser.” A smile tugged at her lips.

He cleared his throat and took a step back, his hand falling off her shoulder. _Was he blushing?_ , she thought. No, it was dark and she was probably making things up. “Alright” he said, rummaging in his pocket and pulling out his wallet. He pulled out a business card and handed it to her, smiling shyly. “As you happen to be around here quite often, maybe we could meet for a coffee sometime to… catch up on old times…?” The question hung in the air between them and he really seemed nervous as he ran is hand through his hair, resting it at his neck.

Claire took the card from his hand and had a look at it. _Lallybroch Distilleries. James A. M. M. Fraser. CEO._ She almost chuckled at how he had shortened his ridiculous amount of middle names. There was a phone number and an email address below. She looked up and found him staring at her, obviously not sure of what her answer would be.

“I’m trying to cut down my coffee consumption…” she said, noticing him breathe deeply. “But I would be fine if I could get a cup of tea instead.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear all,  
> thank you for reading, commenting and sticking to this story!  
> As I'm not quite sure how to continue, please drop any ideas/prompts/things you'd like to read in the comments :))
> 
> I hope you have a great New Year's Eve - Happy New Year to all of you!
> 
> xx Christina

Jamie was sitting at the table in the kitchen of his office. A cup of coffee was standing in front of him, but he was not paying attention to it. He stared at his phone and smiled dumbly. She had agreed to meet him for coffee-tea-whatever tomorrow afternoon. They had just secured their meeting place, a small café half way between the hospital and his office in Edinburgh.

“What are ye smiling at so dumbly, lad?”, Murtagh said, dropping down on the seat in front of him and startling Jaime.

“What could make ye forget about coffee? Are ye sick?”

He smiled shaking his head, taking one last look at his phone before putting it down. “Nah, just thinking and reflecting.” He sighed.

“Christ, I haven’t seen ye like this in years! If I didn’t know better, I would say… but she…” Murtagh shook his head and took a sip of his coffee.

“She’s back.” Jaime looked him straight into the eyes. Murtagh almost choked on his coffee and coughed heavily.

Just then, Jenny entered the room and patted him on the back. “What’s happening here?” she asked, looking from her brother to Murtagh and back.

Regaining breath, Murtagh looked at Jaime incredulously. “What do you mean ‘she’s back’?”

“Who is back, Jaime?”, Jenny interrupted them before Jaime even had the chance to answer. Her piercing glance bore into him. He sighed deeply, leaning back into his chair.

“Claire.” Fondling with his hands, he looked up. “Claire is back.”

For a moment, silence fell upon the room. Jenny Murray was speechless. Jaime was impressed that for once in his life, he had managed the impossible. She sunk down on the chair beside him and ran a hand across her face. “No”, she finally managed to say. “No. No, no, no! I won’t let this happen again!” Anger flashed across her face. “I won’t let her get your hopes up high just to drop you like a hot potato! She destroyed your life once and I won’t let it happen again!”

“Jenny…” Jaime began, but was stopped by her raising her hand.

“No”, she said. “Now you listen to me, James Fraser. The last time this woman was a part of your life she left you, you left your family ready to die in some faraway dessert and I was going crazy. When you came back, you were a ghost of yourself, not eating, screaming, broken! It took all my power and strength to get you where you are now, and I’m not willing to lose my brother ever again. I’m not ready to let this happen all over again!”

“It won’t happen again”, Jaime said softly, reaching out for her hand and taking it into his. She sighed and sobbed, holding back tears. “It will be different this time. I promise you I won’t let this happen again. I’m not ready and willing to leave you, the wee bairns, this company, anything ever again. Do you trust me, Janet?”

She looked up, tears glistening in her eyes. Jenny swallowed hard and the perfect mask that usually covered her face to mask her emotions returned. “I trust you, Jaime.”

“Alright”, Jaime sighed. “I have agreed to meet her for coffee tomorrow. Just coffee, nothing else. I just, I…”, he struggled to find the right words. He looked from Murtagh to Jenny, breathing deeply. “I just think that maybe this could be the right time for… for her and me to figure this out. Maybe we were not destined to be together back then but maybe we could start over and see what time brings.”

Jenny snorted, shaking her head incredulously. “God brother, a love like this only exists in books and movies.”

* * *

 

She had agreed to meet him at the café after her shift and here she was, standing outside with her hair still tied back in a bun and no make-up on. _Nice impression, Beauchamp_. But who was she trying to impress anyway? This wasn’t a date, she was here to meet an old friend and catch up on old times. Nevertheless, she had to admit that she was a bit nervous.

Just then, she saw him run around the corner, slowing down as he spotted her in front of the café, a grin spreading across his face. “I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting”, he greeted her, bending down to place a chaste kiss on her cheek. “Murtagh and I were visiting customers and he promised to drop me off here afterwards. We got stuck in traffic a few blocks away and so I decided to run here.”

Claire felt a smirk tugging at her lips. She shot him an irritated glance. “How are you not out of breath?”

Now a smirk was tugging at his lips, his blue eyes glittering boyishly. “Well lass, I run a lot. My stamina is quite good.” He tried to wink at her but failed terribly and caused her to laugh.

“Better get inside and get you some tea, come on.” After Jaime had went to get their orders, they settled into a quiet corner near a window, watching Edinburgh’s citizens pass by.

“So, how do you like Edinburgh?” Jaime asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“It’s beautiful, I fell in love with this city right away. It’s so different from Boston and even London”, she said, swirling her spoon in her cup. “Scotland itself is different from any place I’ve ever been to.”

“Aye, it is”, he smiled. “Verra special indeed. You haven’t seen the Highlands yet, they are a place of their own. Bonnie.” Claire had to smile due to his usage of this Scottish word. It hurt her painfully just how much she had missed hearing his Scottish accent.

“What have you been up to, then?”, she leaned back in her chair watching him. “What about your career in the army now that you’re burning whisky?”

“Well”, he said, adjusting his large frame in the small armchair, “didn’t turn out like I expected it to.” His gaze faded away, looking outside the window but not focusing on anything at all. “I went to Iraq, after you left”, he finally admitted. He could hear inhale sharply. _Please don’t show any pity, Sassenach,_ he prayed internally. Jaime bent forward and reached for his coffee. “I joined a special forces unit and spent four months in the dessert. One day we were on a mission in a city we thought was deserted. A grenade went off and I was injured by shrapnel. My back was ragged, I looked like I was flogged.” He finally managed to look at her, an undecipherable look on her face. “I was flown back to Scotland and that’s how I got in contact with the Infirmary. I spent some time in the ICU and later…”, he breathed deeply. “Later in the psychiatric department.”

“PTSD”, Claire said. Jaime nodded his head slightly. “Yes.” There was no pity in her eyes when he looked at her. Instead, what he found was pure understanding.

“Must have been a hard time for you, I guess”, she said, her fingers playing with the handle of her cup.

“It was indeed”, Jaime answered. “My sister has been a great help. She tried her best. She is… she is the best”, he smiled, looking at her briefly. “She tried everything to make life normal for me again. When she brought me home to Lallybroch, I was a ghost. She forced me to work and help her with the children, and it truly did help. I’m feeling much better now.”

“I’m glad you are, Jaime.” Silence fell between them, neither of them sure what to talk about or ask next.

“Why didn’t you call me?”, Jaime finally interrupted the silence.

Claire looked up from her cup, startled. “What?”

“When you moved to Boston, I thought you would call and tell me how things are going.” Jaime breathed deeply. “We were friends, after all. Very good friends.”

Claire took her time to answer his question. “I did call you, about 7 weeks after the move.” She looked up, her face filled with emotions. “I lost my phone after we had arrived, and it took me some time to get the numbers back. When I called, there was no connection under this number.” She sighed. “Now I know that you’ve probably been in military training.”

He nodded, taking in what she’d just told him. “I probably was. We had to change our numbers for safety reasons.”

“Well”, Claire said after some time, “I don’t know how you feel about it, but I’d be happy if we could restart this friendship we once had. If you’d like to.” A shy smile was tugging at her lips.

“Aye”, Jaime answered, raising his coffee mug. “To friendship, then.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear all: I'm not dead!  
> Here's a short update for this story, let's see how it will continue. 
> 
> As always thanks for commenting and taking your time to read this story, it means a lot to me :)   
> xx Christina

Weeks had passed since their coffee meeting and Claire and Jamie had begun seeing each other on a regular basis again.  They went out for dinner, to the cinema and Jamie had developed the habit of picking up Claire from work when he found the time to. They were friends though - nothing more, nothing less. Jamie didn’t mind, at least he tried to convince himself of that. He was happy as long as Claire was back in his life. Nevertheless, he hadn’t given up hope. Hope that someday, she would realize that he still had feelings for her, and that maybe, just maybe, they’d make a pretty good couple. His friends at least shared that opinion.

He had brought her to the pub a few weeks back to spend a night out together with some friends of his.  Immediately after entering and leading her to the table in the corner where he’d spotted his friends, Rupert jumped from his barstool, fulfilling a curtsy in front of Claire.

“Rupert MacKenzie, m’lady, your dearest servant”, he said, kneeling down in front of her and sending the others into laughter.

“Get up off your knees, you wee fool!”, Jaime exclaimed grabbing him by his collar, nevertheless he laughed himself and pulled his cousin into a hug.

Claire stood beside him, smiling and extending a hand towards Rupert. “Nice to meet you, I’m Claire.”

“We know, Jamie has told us everything about you already!”

“Has he, huh?” Claire asked, skeptically raising an eyebrow towards Jamie. He felt a slight blush coloring his face and ears, and he was sure that she could see it, too.

“Oh Sassenach, they’re exaggerating”, he said, hastily turning away. “However I might have told them a few things about you.”

He made his way towards the bar and returned with two drinks in hand. Jamie noticed that it was Claire this time who was blushing when she realized he had brought her her favorite drink without even having to ask her. She mouthed a silent “thank you” before turning back to Angus and continuing their conversation. He couldn’t help but find it awkwardly cute how her pale porcelain skin turned slightly pinkish. _‘Stop it, Fraser’_ , his internal voice stopped him from spinning his thoughts around her marvelous skin any further.

“What’s going on here?” he asked, sliding onto the bench next to Claire and handing her her drink.

“I was just asking and wondering where you happen to find such beautiful girls, like gemstones, Jamie. I don’t know how you do it, considering your appearance, clothes….”, Angus said.

Jamie just smirked, not minding the playful insult. He didn’t contradict the gemstone part. “The tube, Angus. We met on the tube.” He took a sip of his whisky, enjoying the burn it left in his throat.

Angus smiled, scratching his beard thoughtfully. “Well then I guess that means I have to use public transport more often.”

“I guess it does”, he responded smiling and cheering towards his friend, then towards Claire.

 

* * *

 

 

“Well hello, there Miss I-have-a-secret-admirer”, Geillis greeted Claire cheerfully from behind the nurses’ desk. She looked up from her computer screen and leaned back in her chair, watching Claire intently.

“What the hell are you talking about?”, Claire answered. She was lost in thought and deeply focused as she was studying the patient information on the flipchart in her hand.

Geillis crossed her hands before her chest. “Well I am talking about this giant bouquet of flowers that’s been left for a Mrs. Claire Beauchamp, as the wee note that stuck to it said, and is now standing right beside me”.

Claire finally looked up. “What?” Only now did she realize the bouquet of peonies on the desk next to Geillis. Her favorite flowers. “What… who… Did the card say anything else?” she asked, grabbing for the card that lay next to the vase her friend hat put the flowers in.

“Unfortunately, not that much”, Geillis answered, handing Claire the card. ‘ _To Mrs Claire Beauchamp. A quite magnificent woman’_ it said. Her fingers brushed over the note, however she did not recognize the handwriting. Claire shook her head slightly, a small smile tugging at her lips. It was definitely a charming gesture… who could this secret admirer be?

Claire put down the note and leaned onto the desk. “Whatever, why did you page me? Only for the flowers? Or is there anything else you need to tell me?”

Geillis smiled, reaching into her drawer and pulling out an envelope. “That’s for you”, she grinned.

“What, another love letter?”, Claire smirked, eying the letter suspiciously.

“It depends”, Geillis answered. “Open it, please. I can’t wait for your reaction.”

Claire opened the envelope and pulled out a cream-colored card, a heart and the initials D & G imprinted on the front. She shot her friend a look, then flipped the card open. _‘Geillis Duncan and Dougal MacKenzie invite you to their wedding…’_ Claire dropped the card, a small scream of joy escaping her mouth.

“What?!!” she looked at Geillis incredulously. “When?? How? Oh my god why didn’t you tell me any earlier! That’s amazing!” She quickly made her way around the table and pulled her friend into a tight hug. “Gosh I am so happy for you!”

Tears where glistening in both of the women’s eyes when they pulled away from each other. “Thank you my dear” Geillis smiled. “And I would very much like you to be my first maid of honor, if you’d like to?”

“Of course!”, Claire exclaimed, pulling her friend into another hug. “So tell me everything about it, now!”

“Well, the wedding will take place in the highlands, around 100 guests are invited, and you are allowed to bring company if you’d like to.” Geillis smirked. “Maybe you could bring your wee fox with you? I’d be happy to know that you are in good company.” She couldn’t help but notice the blush that colored Claire’s cheeks.

“I’ll see if he’s got time”, Claire answered silently.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …and so the wedding adventure begins! ;)  
> enjoy! xx

„Are you sure you don’t mind driving all the way up to Inverness?“ Claire asked again as she was closing the boot of Jaime’s car. „We can switch on the way if you want-“

„Claire“, Jaime interrupted her. „I agreed to accompany you on this trip so I don’t mind driving, either“. He smiled sheepishly as he opened the driver’s door. „Besides you never drive outside of the city and with your wee car we would not manage to get up there safely and on time.“

„It’s alright Mr.-know-it-all“, she answered and shot him a deadly look. „If you keep talking so much we won’t arrive there by tomorrow and you know Geillis.“ Claire slid into the passenger’s seat and buckled her seatbelt. „She’ll kill us both if we are not there for her party tomorrow evening.“

During the drive Claire admired the beautiful landscape of the Highlands.

“So that’s the country you grew up in?”, she asked, soaking in the beautiful scenery.

Jaime took a quick glance at her in the passenger’s seat, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a smile. “Aye that’s it. Scotland’s beauty. My sister and I spent a lot of time outside, with Ian and my Da. He took us horse-riding and hunting…” He fell silent, which caused Claire to look over at him, lips pressed into a tight line and eyes slightly glittering. “I miss him”, Jaime admitted.

Claire reached over and stroked his forearm. “I know. There’s so much you want to tell them and hear their opinion on but… But he’s still here with you. Don’t forget about that.”

A slight smile tugged at his lips and he nodded. “You are right.”

“So is Lallybroch far from here?” Claire asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

“Nah it’s not far from Inverness, probably a thirty-minutes’ drive” he answered. “Why are you asking?”

“Well, I was just wondering if we… You know I would just really like to see it as it seems amazing from your description and I was wondering if we could stop by on one of the next days or on our way home?” She was rambling, and she knew it. She felt her cheeks turning pink and looked down on her hands.

“Really?”, Jaime asked incredulously, a big smile plastered across his face. “Of course we can stop there! I’d love to show you around.”

“Oh, alright” Claire answered, a small smile tugging at her lips. “Then it’s settled.”

 

They arrived in Inverness half an hour later and Jaime parked his car in front of their hotel. Geillis had arranged rooms in quite a fancy hotel which still looked very comfortable and welcoming. Jaime took her small suitcase and they made their way to the reception.

“Welcome to the Imperial Hotel Inverness”, a friendly woman with long blonde hair greeted them.

“Hello, we are here with the wedding party of Geillis Duncan. My name’s Claire Beauchamp”, Claire answered, leaning against the reception.

The woman, whose name was Laoghaire according to her name tag, typed something into her computer. “Oh there you are. And that’s Mr. Beauchamp, I guess?”, she shot Jaime a look that Claire could have killed her for. This little blonde bint was drooling over him and practically undressing him her eyes. He was strolling through the lobby admiring one of the paintings and did not pay attention to the women’s interaction.

“No, that’s just my friend and companion Mr. Fraser”, Claire admitted through gritted teeth. What would she have given in that moment to introduce him as her boyfriend. _Or husband._

“Oh okay”, the receptionist answered, frowning slightly and looking at her screen again. “Well it seems like Mrs. Duncan has only reserved one double room for you, Mrs. Beauchamp.”

“What about Mr. Fraser then?” Claire answered dumbfounded.

“Well you might have to share the room”, Laoghaire shot her a dishonest smile. “No vacancy.”

For a moment Claire didn’t know what to respond. _Geillis._ This just had to be her idea. Claire was furious on the inside and ready to explode the moment she would see her best friend. She briefly closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

“Alright it’s no problem”, she said turning to Laoghaire. “Could you hand us the keys, please?”

She returned to Jaime, keys in hand. “Uhmm… it seems like we might need to share a room.” She fidgeted with the keys, biting her lower lip. “I hope you don’t mind.”

Jaime turned around, startled in his thoughts. “What?”

Claire’s face faltered, she clearly hadn’t expected such a reaction from him. _Well what did you expect, Beauchamp? For him to perform a dance of joy and jump at you right here in the lobby at the prospect of sharing a double room with a king-sized bed with you?_

It seemed like Jaime had heard her thoughts, as he took a step closer to her and reached out to touch her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to sound rude, lass”, a small smile spread on his lips. “But was there no room left for me?”

Claire sighed deeply. “Seems like Geillis forgot that I would bring company.”

“Well I don’t mind sharing a room with you, at all”, Jaime answered and grabbed their luggage, making his way over to the elevator. “But uhm… if you are uncomfortable I can sleep on the floor as well, no problem for me at all.” Claire couldn’t help but notice that the tip of his ears turned slightly pink.

“Don’t be foolish, Jaime”, she interrupted him. “We’re not kids anymore. I think we’re both grown up enough to share a bed with another human being.”

_But were they really?_ Claire could do nothing against the slight feeling of excitement spreading through her body at the prospect of sharing a room – and a bed – for four days James AMM Fraser. She also couldn’t help the tingle of joy in her lower body at the thought of Jaime lying next to her, _naked, breathing heavily… Christ Beauchamp! Get yourself together!_

They arrived in their room, put the luggage down and Claire collapsed on the bed.

Jaime chuckled, pulling running shoes and shorts out of his bag. “I’m going for a run.”

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!”, Claire groaned, clasping her hands over her eyes. “Is there ever a day you _don’t_ work out?” She could hear Jaime’s laughter from the bathroom. “See you later”, he responded, the door falling shut behind him.

Claire reached for her handbag and fumbled for her phone. She’d got an important phone call to make.

“ _Hello sweetie_ ”, Geillis chirped into the phone as she picked up after the second ring.

“What the bloody hell were you thinking!?” Claire blasted at her.

“ _Well good day to you as well, Claire_ ”, her friend responded. “ _Would you like to inform me what exactly you are talking about?”_

Claire breathed deeply. “Well I am talking about the fact that you reserved only one room for me and – what a surprise – as there’s no free room left, Jaime and I get to share one.”

_“Oh but that’s amazing love! I don’t understand why you wouldn’t like to share a room with a Viking… Just think about him stepping out of the shower, water dropping down his toned chest, just a wee towel wrapped around his hips but then unfortunately it drops…”_

“Stop. It! Now!”, Claire interrupted her friend’s rambling and groaned.

“ _What? But why?”_ Geillis asked.

“You know exactly why!” Claire hissed at her.

“ _Unfortunately it seems like I don’t, no. You may need to help me fresh up my memory. But it seems like this will be an interesting weekend.”_ Claire could hear Geillis grin at the other end of the line. She sighed. “If that’s what you’d like to call it.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear all - thank you for sticking to this story even after my lack of updates. ❤  
> Thanks to all who kept commenting and encouraged me to keep these version of Jaime and Claire alive!  
> @mizzmo22, I hope some of your questions will be answered in this chapter 😉  
> as always thanks for reading! Leave a comment if you want to! xx Christina

"Are ye ready for dinner, Sassenach?", Jaime called to her from the bedroom. 

Claire carefully applied her mascara, taking a minute to respond. "Just a second." She could hear him murmuring something to himself. "What did you say?" she asked, putting her make-up bag away and running a hand through her riotous curls. She didn't even bother to create a decent hairstyle with them, it would just be a waste of time. Straightening her dark blue dress, she left the bathroom. 

"I said 'girls and their beauty routine'", Jaime answered. He sat on the bed, bent forward tying his shoelaces. He looked up from the floor spotting her, his mouth slightly ajar. Jaime swallowed hard. "Christ ye look bonnie", he told her, the tips of his ears turning slightly pink. 

"Well thank you", Claire replied, feeling the warmth rising to her cheeks. "You look pretty dapper yourself. Let me just fix your tie and we are ready to go." She stepped in front of him reaching for the knot of his tie, only know becoming acutely aware of how little distance there was between them. Her fingers, damp from sweat, tried to fix the tie as fast as possible. "You're good to go", she finally said, clearing her throat and taking a step back, wiping her hands on her dress. 

"So then let's crash this dinner and pre-wedding party, shall we?", Jaime said, smirking mischievously and offering her his arm. 

They arrived in the hotel lobby, being warmheartedly greeted by Geillis. "Dear God, did you coordinate your outfits?" the redhead asked, dramatically rolling her eyes. Only now it became clear to Claire that their outfits indeed did fit together. Her dark blue dress and light pink purse did match Jaime's navy suit and light pink tie. "Well it's a match I'd say", Jaime responded, attempting to wink and failing terribly. 

As maid of honor Claire and her company were seated at Geillis table. Jaime and her thoroughly enjoyed the dinner, the food tasted amazing and, thanks to Dougal's exquisite taste in alcohol, the drinks were not that bad, too. Claire took the last bite of the delicious strawberry cake, closing her eyes and sighing deeply. She could hear Jaime chuckling beside her. She slightly turned her head towards him. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, lass” he smirked, taking a sip from his glass. “You just seem to really enjoy your cake.”

“Just because cake doesn’t fit your healthy-low sugar-high intensity work out-sweaty lifestyle it doesn’t mean I have to change my eating habits. I like my desserts sweet, sticky and creamy.” Only now did she realize how massively inappropriate the last part sounded and felt her cheeks turn crimson read.

Jaime laughed heartily, getting up from the table. “Fancy a wee dram? I’ll get you one”. Claire could only nod, praying for the floor to open up and swallow her right here and now.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen” Geillis interrupted, “so for the sake of this evening, let’s share some funny stories of our pasts and remember mine and my friends’ greatest miseries.”

“Dear god”, Claire groaned, leaning back in her chair and clasping her hands over her eyes.

“Alcohol?”, Jaime’s voice startled her thoughts as he held a glass of whisky in front of her face. “You’re my lifesaver”, she answered, eagerly taking a big sip.

“Let’s start with Claire”, Geillis said, shooting her friend a wide smile. “Oh great”, she responded, “how did I know I’d be your first choice?”

“You’re always my first choice”, Geillis answered, blowing her a kiss from across the table. “Oh yessss, do you remember the night we went out in London after I received my degree?”

Claire shook her head, swirling the whisky in her glass. “Nope, no idea which evening you’re talking about.”

“Oh come on Claire you know exactly which evening I’m talking about”, Geillis laughed. “We went to this club near Covent Garden and got kicked out because I flashed my boobs while dancing on a table.” Claire smiled slightly, eyeing Jaime from the side. He seemed to be enjoying this story telling. “Then we went to this booooring bar nearby where only professors and lawyers in suits seemed to be. I challenged you that you’d never have the courage to hit on the guy across the bar, but you did. So basically, it was me who brought Frank and you together.”

 _Frank_. The pure mentioning of his name stung in Claire’s heart. She could see Jaime down his drink and get up from the table. She watched him move across the room towards the bar where he began chatting with Rupert. “I’m still glad this Frank-chapter is over”, Claire responded, turning towards Geillis again.

“So how long have you and Jaime been together, Claire?”, Mary asked from across the table. “He’s quite a catch, lucky you.” Claire could see Mary eying Jaime from head to toe.

“Oh, we’re not together. Just… just really good friends.” She nodded, shooting Mary a polite smile.

Geillis almost choked on her drink, coughing and laughing at the same time. “Sure Claire, ‘friends’”, she repeated, forming quotation marks with her fingers.

“Wot?”, she responded feeling her accent thickening, “that’s exactly what we are!”

“Well…” Geillis began, shaking her head slightly and smiling, finally turning her eyes towards Claire. “’Friends’ don’t look at each other like that, Claire”.

 

As the night wore on, the mood, temperature and alcohol level steadily increased. The mood was exuberant, and more and more people started dancing. Right now, the DJ was playing the newest song by the Backstreet Boys, Geillis favorite band.

 

_“What if I never run into you?_

_What if you never smiled at me?_

_What if I had noticed you too?_

_And you never showed up where I happened to be?”_

 

“Fancy a dance, Sassenach?” Jaime suddenly appeared by her side again, his eyes glistening from too much alcohol and mischief. “You dance?”, she responded, shooting him a sheepish grin. “From time to time”, he responded, taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor.

 

_“What are the chances that we’d end up dancing?_

_Like two in a million, like once in a life_

_That I could have found you, put my arms around you_

_Like two in a million, like once in a life?”_

 

Jaime wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him. “Quite a fitting song, isn’t it?”

“Hm? Fitting in what way?” Claire responded, acutely aware of his body pressed against hers, his perfume and his hands on her lower back.

“Fitting for us”, he responded, getting her to raise her eyes to meet his, a puzzled look on her face. “Just listen to the lyrics”, he responded softly.

 

_“What if I hadn’t asked for your name?_

_And time hadn’t stopped when you said it to me_

_Of all of the plans that I could have made_

_Of all of the nights that I couldn’t sleep”_

 

This was suddenly going way too fast for Claire, the room shrinking and zooming in on only her and Jaime. She could feel his gaze on her, moving from her eyes to her lips and lingering there. She felt a bolt of heat cursing through her body, her lungs were tied, and she was struggling for air. No, she thought. This couldn’t be.

“It’s getting quite hot in here” she said, breaking their embrace and taking a step back. “I guess I need some air”. She shot him an apologetic smile and rushed for the terrace, feeling the cool air of the night hit her skin.

She breathed deeply for a few minutes, only being interrupted by Jaime stepping out on the terrace behind her. She could feel his presence instantly. He walked up next to her, leaning on the handrail beside her. She could hear him breathing deeply.

“You know, what I’ve always been wondering…” he finally broke the silence. “Why did you choose him?”

He didn’t have to mention a name for Claire to know he was talking about Frank. Silence fell between them for a few seconds. “I didn’t know there was an option”, she finally responded.

She heard him make a what she would call a typically Scottish noise, shaking his head in disbelief and forcing a laugh. “You know quite well there was!” he answered.

“No, I didn’t. How should I?” she responded, feigning ignorance.

“Oh come on Claire!”, his voice got louder and he turned towards her. “We kissed goddamn! We kissed, and it felt like the whole universe was standing still and then, two days later, you’re leaving. So please tell me, why did you choose him?!” A desperate look was plastered on his face.

Claire could feel herself getting angry by now. Where did he want to go with this? “Seriously Jaime, that’s your argument? A kiss? Dear god, Frank offered me stability, a future, a home. I didn’t know about your feelings, you left the bar after said kiss and never mentioned it again! So how should I have known there was anything more to it?”

Jaime chuckled, a desperate sigh leaving him. “Any more to it? Christ, didn’t you and don’t you see it, now?” He breathed deeply, taking a step closer to her. “I’ve longed for you ever since, Claire. Ever since we met I’ve felt that there was something special between us. I’ve been in love with you for more than ten years, Claire.” He was shaking, finally looking up again. “Do you understand it now? I ache for you – deeply, madly, desperately, all-consumingly.”

 

 


End file.
